Sweet Dreams and Beautiful Nightmares
by WalkerHarley
Summary: The war in Afghan was over. But the war rages on somewhere else. Trying to adapt to life back home is hard, but having someone who knows what it is like makes it that little easier. Molly/Charles Rated T for language and possible smut. Yes a shit synopsis but the first chapter explains more.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own 'Our Girl' and I really hope they do a season 2 because I loved it. I am not from London I am from Birmingham so if the language is a bit off I am sorry. Warning for language and possible smut in future chapters**.

It's still hard to believe that it's over, 453 soldiers killed and more than 2'000 seriously injured. 13 years of war with British soldiers is over, it's not our war anymore. My second tour hadn't been going on long when we received the news and before I knew it I was on a plane. Now it is over, and I am going home.

...

"Molls!" shouted my mom as she ran towards me. She grabbed in a strong bear hug and for a brief moment I didn't think I was going to be able to breathe.

"Alright mom! Jesus I can't breathe!" She stopped holding me and stepped back, still with her hands on my shoulder. She was looking at me, obviously to see if I had any injuries, and smiled at me. Once her observational survey was done she let go of me and I looked past her to see my dad smiling at me.

"Alright dad! You didn't drive down ere did ya?" He chuckled and pulled me in for a hug and kissed me on the top of my head. My dad is different to how he was before I enrolled. Good different though, he's turning into the dad I always wanted.

"Your nan drove again but I was asleep most of the way thank fuck".

"You cheeky fucker! I am a good driver".

"Shuttup you old bat", dad said as he started smirking. Nan was smiling back at him and not in the 'I am going to beat you with a blunt object' way, they were actually getting along.

I gave Nan a hug as dad grabbed my bag then we made our way out of the airport. Once we got outside I felt the chill hit me, I had forgotten how cold bloody England was. It was strange standing back on solid ground, no sand blowing in my eyes and no Afghan sun beaming down on me. Instead I had the grizzly clouds above me, no shine coming from the English sky.

I didn't pay much attention on the drive home, spent most of the time looking out the window. I just wanted to see boss man, I just wanted to kiss him again and forget about being home. The Bashira mission was complete but I still feel like there is more I could do.

It was time to move on.

We got home a few hours after leaving the airport and all the kids were waiting on the balcony. Another 'Welcome Home Mols' banner was flying high, the kids jumping up and down with excitement.

As soon as I stepped out the car the kids ran down the steps towards, it turned into a Molly sandwich. This is why I came home, to see these sproggs. Oh and to see another certain someone.

The kids let go and I made my way up to the lego house. Mom came trawling behind with the array of children. Nothing had changed, there was still a pile of washing untouched in front of the machine, still toys piled high in each corner of the living room.

There was something new in the dining room though.

"Hello Dawes".

It was my boss man. I had come back to him.

**Ok, so I hope this is a nice little beginner. The new chapters will be longer but I just wanted to see whether anyone reads it. Thank you! Harley**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow I am so overwhelmed with the response so I thought I would upload the next chapter as I am awake already. There may be a few grammatical mistakes but I am going to read over both chapters later today to fix anything. I also accept constructive criticism so feel free to message or review. Anyways enjoy! **

**I am so sorry I uploaded the wrong chapter! I was half asleep this morning! Sorry guys here is the actual chapter!**

"Mom there is a strange old man in the house! I think you need to call the cops!"

Charles started chuckling as he took a few steps towards me. As soon as he got in front of me I jumped into his arms. He encircled his arms around me and pulled me off the ground, allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist. He smelt good, clean cut with a nice after shave. A lot different to what I remember in Afghan.

"Oi put my daughter down you or I will put you down!" my dad said as he came into the living room. Charles eased me down back onto my feet and pushed a stray piece of hair behind my ear. He leant down and our lips touched, it was soft at first but soon escalated. The need and desperation to have one another again got the better of us. Our lips were moving at a fast pace, his hands were round the back of my neck and laced into my hair. He needs me, as much as I need him.

"Do you two lovebirds want a drink!" my mom shouted from the kitchen, pulling me and Charles back into reality. Our foreheads rested against one another, each of us taking deep breaths.

"Yeah alright mom!" I shouted back making Charles jump.

"You really do have a massive gob don't your Dawes", Charles mimicked taking a small step back.

"All the better for you aye sir", I said winking.

"Is that one of your euphesisms again?"

"Like I said sir if I knew what one of them were I would let you know".

Charles laughed as my mom came into the room carrying a tray with mugs of coffee on.

"Come on Mols, let's all sit down and talk about all the adventures you've been having".

...

After a long chat, a few cups of cheap coffee and a wrestling match between Charles and my brothers it was the evening. Dad took the baby to bed and soon mom went up to bed. Me and Charles were alone on the sofa with the tv on low in the background. I had my head resting on his shoulder and his arm was draped around my waist. His hand held onto mine and he was stroking my knuckles.

"I'm so glad you came back to me Mols. The past few months I haven't stopped thinking about you. Every time I put the news on I was waiting to hear them say your name and ..."

"They didn't though did they. They didn't say my name and I am here. I am here with you now and that's all that matters".

He looked down at me and placed a soft kiss onto my lips, "I love you Molly Dawes".

"Ditto sir".

"Ditto! Bloody ditto!" he said taking the mick out of me and he pulled me into him. I was on his lap as he wrapped both his arms around my waist, pulling me tight against him.

His lips were on mine in an instant, ravishing my mouth fast and hard. His one hand moved from my waist to my chest, grasping my breast through my t-shirt. I moved my hands to the front of his shirt, unbuttoning it from the top to bottom as he attacked my neck with kisses.

"I remember the first time I saw this chest. I saw the sweat dripping off you in the workout area. I thought you were well fit".

He stopped his attack on my neck and looked up to me, "well fit? Well I thought you weren't too bad yourself Molly".

I smiled at him, this was perfection. This is what I longed to come home for whilst in Afghan. He reached up and stroked the side of my face.

"As fun as this is Molly I think we should take this back to my hotel room".

I smiled and leapt off him. Once standing next to the sofa I offered him my hand which he greatly took. He pulled himself up with my assistance, "oo need some help don't ya old man".

"Enough of the old Dawes. I have plenty of life left in me yet", he said as he grabbed me and threw me over his shoulder. "Come on Dawesy we are going to finish what we started at my hotel. No interruptions".

We left my house with me still over his shoulder laughing at his gentlemanly gesture. I was literally being swept off my feet by a knight in shining armour, well a corporal. When we got downstairs onto the road he let me back down onto my feet. I hollered a cab and Charles told him which hotel to head to.

When we got back to the hotel room our clothes didn't stay on for long. We got lost in each other and it was truly one of the most amazing feelings in the world. I fell asleep wrapped in my soldiers arms.

...

_"__Molly! Molly! Jesus Molly it hurts!" Smurf was laying on the sand screaming at me. Both his legs weren't there anymore, instead there were two mangled stumps half blown to smithereens._

_"__You stay with me Smurf you hear me!" _

_He started to lose consciousness. I was losing him._

_"__Mols!" _

_"__Mom"_

_I turned around and saw my mom standing holding the baby. She was covered in blood and I couldn't work out whether it was hers or someone elses. _

_"__Mom are you hurt?"_

_"__Molly I don't think he's breathing"._

_I stood up and walked towards her, "who's not breathing mom"._

_She moved aside and I saw him laying on the ground with blood pouring from his chest._

_"__Dad? Dad?!" I screamed as a huge ban rang out._

_..._

I woke up covered in sweat, I could feel the sheets clinging to me. These are the nightmares I was warned about. Sleeping is going to be hard from now on.

**Soooo here it is chapter 2. Coming up in chapter 3 a little shopping trip and a trip to rehab. Have a good one everyone!**


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for all the new followers! Sorry about the slight delay in updating but I lost a close member of my family this weekend and it was a total shock. Engaging in writing has helped quite a bit and I have been working on some one shots. Please if you have any suggestions or give me some ideas for what else to write that would be great! I love Our Girl but other shows are welcomed!

"Molly you have just ruined a perfectly good breakfast", Charles said as looked disapprovingly down at my plate.

"How have I? These idiots ruined it by putting some custard on the side", I said as cut into my poached egg.

"It is called hollandaise Mols and it goes on Eggs Benedict which is sitting on the plate in front of you. Tomato ketchup, however, does not go with eggs Benedict. You're really starting to show your common side aren't you Dawes", he mimicked as he stuck his tongue out slightly at me.

"Fuck off! Not all of us are posh snobs who spend their lives with a silver spoon stuck up their arse!"

"Ooo Dawesy is getting feisty!" he laughed and leant towards me placing a kiss on my lips. He licked his lips and chuckled, "mm tomato ketchup".

I smiled over at him, "don't tell me it's been bloody ages since you've had some ketchup" I said impersonating his posh accent.

"Are you taking the piss Dawes?"

"Out of you boss man?" I said and leant in for another kiss, "never".

He smiled over at me and took my plate off my lap, placing it on the bedside table along with his own. His arm snaked over me, his hand landing on my hip and pulling me close against his side.

"So what would you like to do today Molly? Shall we go sightseeing? Maybe some shopping or ..."

We were interrupted by my mobile ringing. I leapt up and leant down to the floor to retrieve my phone from my bag.

"Hello?"

"Hello .. Molly .. Molly is that you?"

"Yes it is .. who's this?"

"It's Candy .. Dylan's mum".

Shit.

...

Time goes by so slowly when you are waiting for something. When you are happy and enjoying yourself it goes so fast, like virtually flashes before your eyes. I'm pretty sure I have been sitting nursing this coffee for five or six hours, when in reality I have only been here thirty minutes.

I'm waiting for Smurf's mom in Paddington station, I offered to go to Newport but she wouldn't have it. She said she needed to get away for a bit, go somewhere busy to pretend her boys weren't gone.

I look up to the board and notice that her train had just arrived. I push my cold coffee to the centre of the table and grab my bag. As I walk towards the platform I notice her walking up the stairs. She looks near enough the same as the last time I saw her. But she look half the person she was. She looked tired, like she hadn't slept in months. She looked up and caught my eye, smiling timidly as she walked to me.

"Hey" I greeted quietly, not entirely sure of what to say.

"Oh Molly" she cried as she pulled me into her. She clung to me as if I was going to fade away in front of her.

"It's ok. It's going to be ok".

...

We were sitting in a coffee shop on the high street on our third cup. She had told me about her boys growing up and the constant struggle Smurf had to try and be better than his brother. She told me how she missed them every day and how hard it was going everyday without them.

"I have these dreams Molly. In these dreams they walk through the front door as if nothing happened. They come and eat dinner with me or watch tele with me. It's like Afghan didn't exist, like it never happened. Then some dreams I have I get that phone call, you know the one from the Army. Before I know I'm standing with two coffins in front of me holding a flag. I know I need to move on but I needed to talk to someone. My Dylan used to praise you. I had never seen him talk about anyone in the way that he talked about you. He loved you Molly, and here."

She handed me a letter with my name in Smurf's handwriting on, "this was in his possessions they sent to me. I wasn't the only one he had written a goodbye letter to. Please read it Molly."

I nodded just staring at the envelope in my hands when she interrupted my zoning out.

"Anyway I must go. I have come to stay with an old friend for the day, I thought a day in London would help me a bit. You know anywhere than my house at the minute helps."

She forced a smile and stood up, putting on her coat and grabbing her bag.

"Goodbye Molly", I stood up and hugged her. She was holding on to me so tight and I could feel the tears falling down her face. She pulled back, "Oh I am so sorry, what am I like eh? Don't be a stranger Molly".

"I won't. Have a nice day and keep in touch, if you need anything ring me yeah?"

She just smiled in response, wiped her cheeks of tears and walked away. I took a deep breath and sat back down on my chair, taking my phone out my pocket. I sent a quick text then finished the last drop of my coffee and grabbed my belongings, making sure my letter was safe in my bag.

...

"What about this one?"

"You look like a penguin!"

"Oi! I will have you know my mother said that I always looked dashing in a tux", Charles said as he did a little spin. After my coffee talk with Candy Charles had rung me and asked if I had wanted to go shopping, I had accepted of course expecting more along the lines of Primark than Prada.

"Why do you need a tux anyways?"

"There is a gala for ex servicemen and people who have being honoured for their service in Afghan. I, apparently, am honourable".

I scoffed, "who would have thought it aye. Private school, posh boy is an honourable soldier".

"I will have you know Dawes I went to a comprehensive school, no private tuitions for me".

I smiled at him as the sales assistant came towards us, "well sir what do you think?"

Charles looked to me for approval and I merely shrugged.

"I think I will just go for the shirt, tie and trousers. No tux for me." The sales assistant nodded and started to assist Charles with his jacket. I never thought I would be shopping in these parts of London, I thought it would always be market stalls and knock off shops for me.

"I will be right back", Charles said as he made his way into the changing room. I sat down on one of the chairs outside the changing room, admiring all the suits hanging up. I heard a phone beeping coming from Charles' coat. I know I shouldn't snoop but it's not like I am going to check through his messages. I open his coat pocket and see a message on the front screen.

_**Belinda:**_

_**Have you done it yet xx**_


	4. Chapter 4

**This has some dark parts in that may be a little graphic... just a quick pre warning! Sorry it's been a while but I have had so much stuff going on. Anyways enjoy!**

_Man down! Man down! _

_I was screaming as loud as I could as I heard the boys shouting for Smurf and Captain James. I ran as fast as I could to be beside boss man and as I reached him I dove to the floor. I could see the two gun shots and noticed the pool of blood appearing around him. _

_"__Smurf! Help Smurf Molly!" _

_I turned to look at Smurf lying on the ground; he was sitting slightly up and looking into the eyes of someone. It was Badra wearing a hijab with a gun in his hand. He raises the gun and pulls the trigger. The lift left Smurf's eyes as his brain matter covered the dust path behind._

_I wanted to scream, but nothing came out. I just watched as Smurf's body fell back onto the ground and Badra turned to look at me. He raised his gun towards me and pulled the trigger._

I awoke with hitched breath; I couldn't catch my breath properly. I couldn't breathe, why couldn't I breathe?! I rolled off the bed and stumbled into the bathroom and turned on the cold water tap. I splashed some water on my face and tried to calm down. I hung my head down trying to catch my breath when I felt a hand on my back.

"It's alright Molls, it's just a panic attack. Try and take a deep breath in and then breathe out", my mom said as she rubbed my back. I started to take deep breaths, beginning to calm down. Once I was breathing normal I leant over and turned the water off.

I turned around and was facing my mum. She placed a hand on each side of my face, stroking my cheek with her thumb.

"You alright now Mol?"

"Yeah Mum I'm fine honestly."

"You sure? Because you don't seem fine doll".

"Mum I'm alright just let me go back to sleep", I moved past my mum and went back into my room. I slipped back under my duvet and looked up at the underneath of the top bunk. There is only one person I know who I can talk to about this, and it's the one person I don't want to show my weakness to.

...

After a relatively sleepless night I was exhausted. I had spent most of the day just lying on the sofa, mindlessly watching daytime television. The kids were all at school and nursery but they were due back anytime.

The text message was playing on my mind all afternoon, I didn't realise Charles had my mum's number let alone that they communicated. What on earth could he do that my mum would have to know about, it is making me worry if I'm honest.

"Earth to Molls!"

I looked up to my dad standing in the doorway of my room which brought me out of my daze.

"What do you want from the chippy Molls?"

"I will come with you if you want Dad".

"Yeah alright then get a move on".

I got up off my bed and grabbed my hoodie from the back of my door. It was a pretty miserable day today. There was no match on and it was quiet. A pretty boring Saturday near the old West Ham ground. Me and Dad walked in silence, it wasn't uncomfortable though, and it wasn't uncomfortable with him anymore.

"What's on your mind Mol?" Dad said once we had reached the street that the chippy was on.

"Just Afghan stuff innit dad".

"I know it must be hard Mol, I could never imagine going through what you went through. I always thought a Friday night down the Denmark Arms was traumatising enough".

I laughed awkwardly and smiled at him, "listen Molly I know I haven't been the best of dads to ya but I really wanna try now. So talk to me Mol".

I looked down at my feet. I always wanted a dad who cared for me. All the other kids at school had dads who would pick them up from school, whereas I would only see my dad when I walked past the pub.

We got to the chippy and dad placed our order as I stared out the window. I missed Afghan, in a weird sort of way. I missed the giant sun heating my skin, I missed the atmosphere with all the lads and I missed Smurf. I still hadn't opened his letter. It was sitting in the drawer of my dressing table hidden beneath my socks and pants. I will open it eventually, I just need to find the right time.

"Come on Molls lets head back".

I grabbed one of the brown paper bags full of food from the counter and headed out the shop with my dad following. As I stepped down out of the shop I bumped into someone, an idiot who obviously wasn't looking where they were going.

"Oi mate watch where you are going!"

"Molly?" Oh fuck.

"Artan? What are you doing here?"

He hadn't changed at all, he was still a slimy charmer. He probably has some other unfortunate teenager in tow.

"I come to get food. I thought you were shooting guns against my people?"

Who does he think he is!? "Actually mate the war for us is over! And it wasn't about shooting 'your people'! I went over there to help people. I went there for children to get an education, for young girls to go to school".

Artan scoffed, "women belong at home not in schools or armies".

I tried t barge past him but he grabbed my arm. "Oii!"

"You will come back to me yes? You belong to me".

"I belong to no one mate!"

I tried to pull away but his grip tightened.

"Let go of her!" Came a voice behind Artan.

"Who are you?" Artan questioned. Two seconds late a fist connected with his face.

"I am her boyfriend", Charles said as Artan fell backwards and let go of my arm.

My dad walked around the back of me to inspect what had just happened.

"Nice right hook son", he said patting Charles on the shoulder. "Right let's get this food home before it gets cold".

Dad started walking up the road as me and Charles followed him.

"Are you ok?" Charles asked me as he took the bag of me.

"Yeah I'm fine" I said as he placed his free hand into mine. We walked in silence but it wasn't comfortable. He kept looking at me when we weren't making eye contact.

"Why do you keep looking at me? Is there somefink on my face?" he chuckled quietly.

"No there isn't, you look as beautiful as always. I'm just worried about you."

"Well I don't need you to worry about me Boss, I am a big girl and I can take care of myself".

It was silent again. I could see he was etching to say something and I couldn't take it anymore.

"What do you want to say to me? Because I know there is something".

He looked down at our hands that were entwined and started stroking my knuckles with his thumb.

"Your mum said you had a panic attack and she was worried about you. So I wanted to come and see if you were ok".

My mum. Why was my mum texting him again?

"Why are you speaking to my mum? Is there something I have missed? I mean I have been in Afghan but my mind isn't entirely fucked up!"

"Molly it's not like that, we are worried about you".

"You don't need to be! I am a full grown adult I don't need you to worry or check in on my mum. Why are you speaking to my mum? What is this thing that you need to ask me?"

Charles looked down at me, blushing slightly. "What do you mean?" he asked me.

"I saw the text. So what is it you want to ask me?"

"Molly I don't want to talk about this in the middle of the street".

"Tell me now!"

"Moll..."

"I mean it tell me!"

"No ... I'm not ..."

"Charles!"

"I want to marry you, you infuriating cockney!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello my wonderful followers! First of all I am so sorry for my silence but over the festive season I haven't been well. But I found out it's because I am going to be a mommy! My partner and I are so excited as we have lost so much and it's something we have wanted for a while. But anyway enough of my life story here is a longer chapter to make up for the long wait.**

.

"What the hell did you just say?" I asked him. He didn't just say what I think he said did he? I mean he can't want to marry me I'm from London, and not the Mayfair side either.

"I asked if you would marry me", Charles said. My mouth was dry and my heart was racing, I honestly thought I was going to pass out.

"You don't want to marry me. I'm fifty shades of chav and fucked up! You need a nice housewife to look after you, someone who will stay at home and cook you nice meals. I'm not that girl."

Charles took a step towards me, "No you are not that girl. You are so much more! I don't want that woman in my life again, I had that before with Rebecca. I want you Molly. I want all of you."

This was so much to process and I couldn't think of the right way to do it. I love him but I don't think I can have that commitment.

"I can't do this right now. I'm sorry". I heard Charles call after me, but I did what I thought I was good at. I ran.

I wasn't aware of how long I had been running until I felt a tight burning feeling in my chest. I slowed down, stopped and sat on a nearby bench. I wanted the whole world around me to just disappear and leave meal alone. That was never going to happen though. I watched a couple walk past, they looked so happy walking hand in hand. I wanted that with Charles, I really did, but I knew it would never be that simple.

A vibration from my pocket brought me back to reality, it was a text from my mom, along with numerous other missed messages.

_**Come home babe we are worried about you. Mom xx**_

_**Molly please answer me. C.J.X**_

_**Just tell me where you are and I will come and pick you up. Charles xx**_

_**I'm sorry I spoke so abruptly I didn't want to ask like that. Charles xx**_

_**Molls posh git is here come back home will you. Mom x**_

_**Molly, please come back to **_

I don't think I could ever be someone's wife, I don't know the first thing about making home and baking. I have never baked anything in my life. Doesn't Charles see this? Doesn't he see that I don't have the faintest idea about all of this? I suppose the one biggest thing holding me back is the army, I am home now but I still think about Afghanistan. I still think about the deaths, the blood, the sand and the heat. I wouldn't be home forever though; it wouldn't be long before I was being called to go somewhere else. How would Charles cope with that?

My thoughts were interrupted by my phone ringing again, to my surprise the caller id said 'Dad'.

_Hello?_

_Molls where are you?_

_I'm just getting some space dad. I need some time to think._

_That's alright Moll I know how it is. You know when I first asked your mom to marry me she told me to sod off. I asked her again when she was pissed after a night out and she said yes._

_Ha that's a nice romantic story for me eh dad?_

_All I'm saying is Moll ... it's your decision and you do what is right. _

_Thanks dad._

_No worries. But I will say this ... he is ten times the man Artan is and I wouldn't mind him becoming a member of our family._

_Thanks dad, tell everyone to stop worrying I will be home soon._

_Alright Moll I will see you soon. Be careful yeah._

With that I hung up and stood up from the bench I had been residing on. I knew what I had to do now.

When I got home it was quiet, really quiet. It was a little after 10:30 in the evening and the kids were probably all in bed or at least in their rooms, mom will probably be up there to maybe even with dad know things for them were back on track. I walked into the dark living room and turned towards the dining room, pulling my jacket on and placing it on the back of a dining chair.

"You're back", a voice said coming from the darkness, making me jump back in surprise. The lamp by the side of the sofa was turned on so I could see who it was that scared me. Charles was laid out on the sofa with his legs flopping over the edge. He had a duvet on top of him which my mom had obviously leant him from one of the kids spare sets.

"I didn't realise you were a 1D fan?" I said with a smirk as I stepped forward into the living room. Charles sat up stretching slightly as to ease all the knots in his back.

"If I knew what one of those was Molly I would let you know", he replied bearing his dazzling white smile.

As he sat up he moved his legs to position himself in the normal sitting position on the sofa, the duvet still laid over his lap. He lifted the one side of the duvet so I could sit next to him, once I was seated he placed the duvet over my lap. I shifted so I was leaning on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around me. We just sat there in silence, both cuddled together covered in a one direction duvet. It wasn't a perfect romantic movie scene, but it was our scene.

I decided to break the silence.

"Yes"

Charles shifted so he could look down on me, "yes what".

"Yes I will marry you", I said beaming.

"Molls", he said as he placed a hand on each side of my face and pulled me in for a kiss. His kiss was sweet at first and light, however it soon became desperate and passionate. "I love you Molly", he said between kisses.

"Wait", I said as I stop his passionate attack on my mouth. "I need to say something please".

Charles leant back and moved his hands from my face, placing one hand on mine intertwining our fingers. He nodded so I continued to speak.

"I can't be that stay at home, steaming curtains, making casseroles and choosing pelmets. I am not that girl and I think you know that. I am going to be called back to the army, I don't know where I will be sent but you know it's going to happen soon. When it does I will be leaving you here, and I will think of you every day. I will be thinking about how I long to be cuddled up to you again and have your hands on me. I don't want to lose you boss man, but I just don't want you to expect too much from me".

Then it was silent, he was looking at me but not saying anything. Then out of nowhere he started laughing.

I punched him on the arm, "oii what is so fucking funny?"

He shook his head and opened his arms, I accepted the invitation and moved to sit on his lap.

"Molly I know what kind of girl you are. You're my girl. As long as you come back to me I don't mind where you go, just remember to come home to me."

There, what he just said. That's why I am in love with Captain Charles James.

"I will. Always."

"Good", he said as he pulled me to lay in front of him, "now let's get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow".

"Have we?" I asked.

"Yes we have, you are going to meet my parents".

I rolled my eyes as he pulled me closer, my back pressing to his chest. The sound of his gentle snores set me off into a peaceful sleep.

"_Dawes we need a medic down here!" _

_I ran so fast I couldn't breathe, it was hard running fast around here. The rough stoned ground made it uneven and every now and then I would trip and narrowly avoid face planting the floor._

"_Dawes hurry up!"_

_I carry on running until I reach the injured soldier. He is laying on the ground holding a hand to his neck, the blood still seeping through his fingers. I kneel down and look him in the eye._

"_Molly!" Charles splutters, blood coming from his mouth._

"_It's ok. It's all going to be ok", I shouted trying to drown out the noise around us. _

_Then his eyes started to glass over. _

"_Boss! Captain James! Charles! Please don't leave me!"_

_His hand fell to his side and his expression became vacant._

"_No! Please! Come back to me! Please!"_

_I stroked his face and shook it slightly, trying to bring the life back into him._

"_You did this", came a voice behind me. _

_Rebecca was standing behind me holding Sam's hand, Sam was looking down at us. Sam was looking at his father's body._

_I stood up and put my hands up, "I didn't do this I tried to save him. I just want to make him happy"._

"_You tried to make him happy? Why is his blood all over your hands then?" _

_I looked down and she was right, I was covered in the blood of the man I love._

_Suddenly I couldn't breathe. I tried to wipe my hands on my uniform but the blood kept coming back. I couldn't breathe. I fell to my knees and I couldn't breathe._

I woke up with a scream. I was sweating and I couldn't catch my breath, there was something wet on my face and that's when I realised. I was crying.

I tried to sit up but I was too dizzy and still couldn't breathe. I felt two arms envelope my waist and hold me. One hand moved behind me and started rubbing circles in my back.

"It's ok Molly I'm here. You're with me. You are back with me."

**Hope you all enjoyed and next chapter will be up on the weekend. Review, follow, favourite, share!**

**Harley**


	6. Author Note

Hey everyone!

I know it's been a year since I updated but I'm back. It has been a tough year, I lost two family members and a friend. I am so sorry for not updating but I am working on a new chapter that I should be able to upload tonight! at the end of the chapter will be some questions where I will tally answers so everyone can vote on what they want to see happen in the story! Again sorry for the wait but chapter will be up tonight!


	7. Chapter 6

**Hey guys thank you to those who sent me messages and reviewed after my authors note earlier it is very much appreciated. Anyway enjoy guys and reader the note at the end of the chapter.**

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This car ride seemed to be the longest drive I have ever endured; I honestly don't understand how people can be long distance drivers. Charles had been concentrating on the road for the past 15 minutes, neither of us saying a word to the other. The day after our night on the sofa Charles had rung his parents to let them know that we would be visiting them and that he had some important news to share. The reminder of the big news was wrapped around my ring finger.

Mum had freaked out when we told her the news; she was convinced I would never have said yes after everything that happened the day before. When I lifted my hand and showed her the ring she screamed, just like a teenage girl at a Justin Bieber concert. Charles had put a lot of thought into the ring, it was beautiful. A simple 18ct white gold band with a solitaire diamond in a claw setting. It was simple yet absolutely stunning, boss man got it bang on with this.

Staring down at my hand I twisted the ring around my finger, I had only had it on a week and I couldn't imagine my hand without it now. I just hoped Charles felt the same. Everything had been perfect, we were so happy and in love. Then two days ago it all started to fuck up.

_2 days ago_

"_So I was thinking that maybe we could go down to Bath tonight and spend a night in a hotel, just me and you."_

_I chuckled at Charles' flirty tone, "hmm that is very tempting boss but I have to help my dad with the kids tonight"._

"_Damn way to keep a guy waiting Dawes. I was hoping you could spend the night with me wearing nothing but the ring on your finger"._

_It was a tempting offer._

"_Hmm let me speak to dad and get back to you? I might be able to pull a few strings"._

_2I heard Charles moan under his breath, "I promise it will be well worth the effort Dawes"._

"_I'm sure it would Boss man. Right have to go mom is finally coming out of the flat and we are off shopping. Call you later?"_

"_Of course. I love you Molly"._

_Mum shut the door of the house and turned to face me, "ditto" I said quietly down the phone smiling. When I hung up I couldn't take the smile off my face and it turned out it was infectious. Mum was standing grinning at me like the Cheshire Cat from Wonderland._

"_Who was that then Molls? Was it a certain Captain?" she asked as she winked at me. _

"_Oh shut up will you and let's get this over and done with", I said as I turned around and headed down the stairs. Some of the local kids on the estate were hanging at the bottom of the stairs; one of them was the boy that I had caught Jade with a few nights ago. I had warned her to stay away from him and his mates, they only hung out with girls for one thing. One thing Jade shouldn't be associated with yet that's for sure. _

"_Is Jade still friends with that lad Molls?" Mum asked just as we had walked past the group._

"_Nah I don't think so why?"_

"_No reason. I've just head bad things about him and I don't want our Jade to get mixed up in all of that you know?"_

_I just nodded at Mum and carried on walking. We didn't really speak much whilst we were out, Mum asked my opinion on various outfits she picked out to wear for her night out tonight, that was about it. We walked past a wedding dress shop but I didn't go in, I was happy to be engaged to Charles but I certainly wasn't ready to be trying on veils. After three gruelling hours of shopping I called it a day and we headed home. _

_Dad was in his usual outfit for when he had no plans to leave the house, boxers and a t-shirt. Mum still wonders why I didn't bring many of my friends home whilst I was at school. Is it not obvious?_

"_Alright dad, anything good on?" I asked as I plopped down onto the sofa next to dad._

"_Nah not really, just the footy, nothing too exciting. Have a good day spending my well earned cash?"_

"_Ha, come on dad we both know that isn't true"._

_He chuckled, "yeah you're right. Anyway did you have a good day?"_

_I sighed, "yeah it was alright but you know what I'm like I can't stand shopping"._

"_Don't worry Molls you know your mom won't be going out again anytime soon so shopping will be out of the question"._

"_Every cloud ay dad", I said giving him a small smile. "So dad do you still need me to stay in with you tonight and watch the kids? I don't mind obviously. It's just that Charles wanted to book a hotel for tonight but I told him I was staying in with you. And he was obviously ok with that so we will just wait to go down as we planned in a couple of days. I was just going to ask..."_

"_Moll! Of course I don't mind. You go out and have a nice night with Charlie boy. Most of these kids look after themselves anyway and Mum is going to cook dinner before she goes out. We will be find kidda just have fun, don't have to worry about your old man". _

_Dad had changed a lot since I had been deployed, whether it was out because he was proud of me or whether it was out of fear, the change was for the better. Even Nan was getting on with him, miracles really do happen._

_I leant across the sofa and pulled dad in for a hug, "thank you so much dad. I owe you one!"_

_Dad hugged me back then let me go, leaving me to rise from the sofa and head upstairs. I sent a text once I was laying on my bottom bunk:_

**_Dad's going to be ok lets do this tonight? Xx_**

_Not long after I received a reply:_

_**Booked. I had the page ready all day hoping you would say yes. I will pick you up in an hour. 143 Cxx**_

_I smiled looking down at the text, he really was a geek sometimes. I loved it. I lay down on my bunk staring at the underneath of the top bunk. Tonight was going to be amazing, I just know it._

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**This is just part one of the chapter I really wanted to get something up tonight. I'm really sorry if some parts are muddled I am so tired and haven't finished the second part yet. Is there anything you want to see happen in future chapters, please inbox me.**

**Thanks guys love you all! x**


	8. Chapter 7

**Next part of the story, I really hope you enjoy. I will try and upload another chapter by the end of the week, however I am moving house this weekend and I have a relative's funeral next week so I'm rather stressed but please bear with me. Thank you!**

Charles pulled up to the luxurious home that I had visited once before, the difference being this time the parents would be here. I was nervous to say the least, I mean how would else other than absolutely horrified would an upper class family react to the fact their son was engaged to a cockney. A West Ham fan at that.

Charles cut off the engine and leant his head back on the headrest of the driver's seat, taking a long exhale of breath. I hated seeing him like this, unable to look at me. I didn't exactly lie to him I just withheld some information is all.

I reached over and placed my hand on top of his that was tightly grasping the steering wheel. "Please talk to me", I pleaded. I moved my other hand to hold against his cheek, forcing him to face me. "Please don't shut me out babe; I don't think I could handle it if you didn't speak to me. I'm sorry that you found out like that but I need you to be here with me. Please babe."

_2 days ago_

_I had finished helping Dad getting dinner ready for the kids and once they sat down to eat I ran upstairs to quickly get an overnight bag packed for tonight. I put my holdall bag on the bottom bunk and grabbed a couple of dresses from my wardrobe, once we got to the hotel Charles could help me decide which one to wear to meet his parents. To say I was nervous would be an understatement. It's not exactly a situation I want to be in but it would make him happy and that's all I want._

_I went over to my underwear drawer and grabbed a couple of lingerie sets, in hope of getting Charles' heart beat racing that little bit faster. I packed a red and black number and a white number, depending what mood my Captain was in. _

_I had packed my clothing and went to the bathroom to grab my toiletries when I bumped into my mum. "Alright mum! Looking forward to tonight?" I carried on into the bathroom as my mum followed and spoke to me, leaning against the door frame. _

"_I really am Molls, it will be nice to have a night out and leave your dad with some responsibilities for the night. Shall we put a bet on now on who will crack first; the kids or your dad"? Mum laughed as I rolled my eyes opening the bathroom cabinet, grabbing my toothbrush and pill putting them on the side of the sink._

"_I think dad will be alright you know, there's only little Tyler who will need Dad's attention. I'm sure they will all be fine", I said as I knelt down to look for my toiletry bag from under the sink. "So who else is going out tonight?"_

"_Well", my mum replied as she started counting on her hand, "there's Nancy from next door, Chrissie from the hairdressers and Deena from across the block. We all bumped into each other at the English night class and got talking. It should be a good night."_

"_Sounds like it. Well I hope you have a good night, it will be nice for you to let your hair down before your teaching studies start". I found my toiletry bag and started to pack my toothbrush and my pill. As I picked my pill up I noticed that I hadn't started a new week yet. Usually I finish my one pack, have my break with my period and start the next. I hadn't started my new pack yet._

"_Mum what's the date?"_

"_The 23__rd__ why?"_

_Shit._

"_Oh nothing I just remembered I have to go for a discharge doctor's appointment that's all"._

"_You've only been home 7 weeks Molls! The army like to keep tabs on ya don't they? Anyways hurry up before that posh boy gets here. I need to make myself look presentable for my son in law", she teased as she walked into the bathroom as I walked out. _

_I had been home 7 weeks. 7 weeks ago I had spent the night with Charles and we didn't use anything. Of course you didn't Molly because you told him you were on the pill so it would all be fine. Molly Dawes you are officially an idiot._

_I went back into my room, shoving the toiletry bag into my holdall. I checked my phone and saw I had 10 minutes before Charles would be coming to pick me up. I needed to know if there was something that I need to tell Charles, something I needed to say before we saw his parents._

_I quickly did the zip up on my bag and ran downstairs, dumping the bag in the hallway. I grabbed my coat, checking my card was in my pocket, and unlocked the front door. "I'm just running to the shops alright?! I won't be too long." I shouted through to my dad as I walked outside. _

_I walk as fast I can to the pharmacy on the high street, bumping in to various passer bys and apologising as I hurried. As soon as I got to the pharmacy I headed towards the feminine section, browsing past the variety of tampons and pads until I found what I was looking for. _

_I grabbed the pregnancy test off the top shelf and went to the counter. The customer assistant grabbed the box and put it through the till, then lifted her head to give me a small smile. It was hard to work out whether she was silently congratulating me or pitying me. The assistant put the box into a paper bag and as soon as my payment went through I grabbed the bag and practically ran out the pharmacy. _

_I made it home in record time and ran up the stairs to our house. I rummaged around in my pocket for my keys and realised I had left them in the house. I banged the front door with my fist, hoping that any of the lazy sods would come and let me in. No one answered. I banged the door again with even more force. Still no answer. For a third time I went to knock the door but to my surprise it was opened. _

_I stumbled forward and was caught by two large hands grasping my upper arms making an attempt to prevent me falling. I looked up and saw my man looking down at me. "Hello Dawes, nice of you to join us", he said as he slowly moved his hands up and down my arms._

_I let out a nervous laugh, "haha that was funny. Yeah, I mean an entrance. What am I like eh? I'm a proper knob ain't I? A proper ... what would you say ... oh yeah a cock womble! Yeah that's what I am ..."_

"_Molly", Charles said as he moved his hands off my arm and tilted my chin up, forcing me to look him in the eyes. "Molly I was joking just take a deep breath okay? I know you are nervous about meeting my parents tomorrow but it will be fine I promise."_

_Charles looked down at me with a small smile, this man truly was perfect. Instead of trying to make me into someone his parents would like he was allowing me to be myself. _

"_I'm not nervous babe. Well I am a bit nervous ... it's just I'm excited to get away tonight and spend some time with you. All alone. In a hotel ..." I said with a cheeky smile. Charles' smile grew as he started to rub the back of my neck. _

"_I'm looking forward to it too baby", he said as he leant down and placed a small peck on my lips. "Right let's get going shall we". _

_I went past Charles and grabbed my bag that was in the hallway, slipping the paper bag in without Charles taking much notice. "Right guys I'm off! Mum have a nice time! Kids be good! Dad stay sober!" I shouted as Charles chuckled behind me. As expected I didn't get a reply, everyone was too busy to even notice I was going. _

_We went downstairs, through my bag onto the back seat of Charles' car and got into the passenger seat. Charles got into the driver's side, put on his seat belt and started the engine. We pulled out of the parking space and headed towards the motorway. Once we were on the straight road Charles grasped my hand and placed it into his lap. _

_The journey was pleasant; we had light conversation, sung along badly to music on the radio and spent the majority of the journey with my hand on his lap. We stopped at a service station just past Reading and grabbed a coffee, I offered to drive the rest of the way but Charles would have none of it. _

_We arrived at the hotel in just under 3 hours from leaving my house. The hotel was beautiful, Charles had certainly out done himself this time. We parked the car and went inside carrying our bags to the check in desk. As Charles went through all his details with the receptionist I looked around the lobby, it was absolutely breath taking. The lobby consisted of a glossy marble floor and smooth leather sofas with black glass coffee tables made into a seating area. The whole place was so clean and everything was in the perfect position, nothing seemed out of place. Except me that is. _

"_Molly", Charles said from behind me, "is you ready to go to our room?"_

"_Yeah, lead the way"._

_I followed Charles as we headed to the elevator, once inside Charles clicked the button for the fourth floor. We headed down a corridor and turned right into another corridor. Why do hotel corridors seem like they never end? Finallly we got to the room 423 and Charles got the key card out. Placing into the door handle, the green light came on, the door unlocked and we went inside the room. _

_I placed my bag onto the floor at the end of the bed and sat down. "God I am shattered. Well I'm not that shattered..." I said as I bit my lip at Charles. He chuckled and placed his own bag down and sat down next to me at the bottom of the bed._

"_I'm glad you aren't that shattered Dawes! I was thinking we could grab a shower, order some room service then see where the evening takes us", he said raising his eyebrow. _

_I stood up from the bed, "fine I will go get the water all warmed up for you". _

_Charles looked up at me smiling as I turned and walked to the bathroom. I turned on the shower and looked around the bathroom. There was a variety of complimentary shampoos, conditioners and shower gels, all of which smelt divine. The towels were on a towel rack that was a radiator so when we got out the shower the fluffy towels would be toasty. I kicked my shoes off and took my socks off, rolling them into a ball and placing them inside. I shrugged my jacket off and hung it on a coat hanger that was on the back of the bathroom door. As I went to unzip my jeans I realised Charles still hadn't joined me. _

"_Oil boss man is you coming to join me in this shower or what?!" I shouted over the running water. I stood in front of the bathroom mirror and started to unzip my jeans. I popped the button, pulled down the zipper and shook my legs out of them. I bent down as I kicked them off then picked them up to fold. As I placed them on the side next to the sink I noticed Charles standing behind me in the reflection of the mirror. _

"_What's this Molly?"_

_Charles was holding a paper bag with a pharmacy logo on the front and he didn't look happy._


	9. Chapter 8

**Honestly I can't apologise enough, Iost all my mojo for this story and had a total reader's block. I am very sorry, but I am determined to get this story going again. Our Girl was back last night! I really liked it! No spoilers don't worry! My story will not correspond to series 2.**

**I really hope you like this chapter, I'm not a plain sailing kind of writer so things may get dark before they get smushy.**

**Big thank you to: two-secton, CJwaitout, greenstuff2 and for your reviews! Love you guys!**

_Oh crap! Oh crap! _

_There was nothing else I could think of just those two words that were repeating themselves over and over in my head. I didn't know what to say it was as if my brain stopped functioning and I lost the ability to speak. All I could do was make a strangled noise at the back of my throat whilst Charles stared down at me holding the pharmacy bag._

_Charles ruffled the bag slightly, shaking it up and down, resulting in the slim box crunching against the paper bag. He put a hand into the bag and pulled out the box, discarding the empty bag onto the floor. He tapped the box and allowed the small stick to fall onto the bathroom counter. Who knew such a small thing could cause so much tension and potentially destroy our relatively new relationship. Charles picked up the test and looked at the window with the blue plus symbol in._

"_Well ..." he said as he waved the stick a little. Do I lie? Do I tell him that I am keeping hold of it for someone else? Maybe I could tell him I was keeping hold of it for my mum or even Jade but what if text my Mum to congratulate her, well they are practically best friends now with their text conversations. Mum would immediately tell Charles the truth, not that it was mine, but she would tell him that the test sure as hell wasn't hers. _

_I don't know what to say to him. He has had this experience before with Sam so he knows what to expect with pregnancy tests, nine months of a human being growing inside, hours of excruciating labour and the sleep deprivation period with a screaming newborn. I saw how my Mum struggled at times with the kids and that was when there wasn't a house full of them. I don't know if I am ready for that, I mean I'm still young and have my whole life and career ahead of me. If I am pregnant ..._

"_...I don't even know if I would keep the baby"._

"_You want an abortion?"_

_Oh shit, "ermm what?"_

_Charles sighed in frustration and ran his free hand through his hair, looking down letting out a deep breath he'd been holding. I think I may have just said that thought out loud, oh gosh I said I wanted to get rid of the baby. _

"_Molly! Are you pregnant?! Do you want this baby?! For goodness sake just talk to me will you!"_

"_I don't know what to say", I replied as I shuffled my feet. I looked down to the tiled bathroom floor, focusing on the stained marble effect, trying to keep my eyes on anything but Charles._

_I heard him huff and drop the test on the surface in the bathroom, as it made a small knocking sound I stepped back. Charles was standing near the entrance of the bathroom, blocking my only means of escape. I could just make a run for it, knocking him down on the way out; use some of my army training. Talking about army training I could restrain him and use whatever I can find in these bathroom cabinets to tie him up. He would only be holed up in here till housekeeping came in the morning so I'm sure he would be fine, he is the legendary Captain James after all. _

"_Molly!" _

_Shit! His shouting made me jump and I put my hand down onto the surface rather hard, right down onto the glass used for mouth washing. As there was a loud smash I felt a sharp sting followed by a pulsating sensation which made me feel sick. I looked down at my hand to see some pieces of glass sticking out the palm of my hand with blood dripping onto the work surface._

_Shit this hurt._

"_Oh crap", I muttered as I lifted my hand up towards my chest. I don't know if there was anything I could possibly use in this hotel room to help me, I mean I think I might need some stitches. _

"_Wait here I will be right back", Charles said as he briskly left the bathroom. I was left standing by myself attempting to distract myself from the pain and the blood that was staining my shirt. This is the position I could be in in nine months time; bleeding, hurting and all alone. _

_Come on Dawes you can sort yourself out. I looked around the bathroom and noticed a face cloth on the towel rail, this would have to do for now. I grabbed the cloth and held it on my hand applying pressure but being careful of the glass that was now sticking out of it. How did I get myself in this mess? The army was supposed to be my opportunity for freedom, an opportunity for me to have a real chance in life. I didn't want to end up like half the girls my age around here who live in the high rises with their litter of children. I have nothing against how they live their lives, I just didn't want my life to end up like that. _

"_Sit down", I heard coming from the bathroom door startling me from my deep thoughts. Charles had re-entered the bathroom holding a small green bag with a plus sign on the front._

"_Do you always have a first aid box on you?" I asked as I stepped backwards, pushed the toilet lid down, and sat on top of the seat. Charles knelt down in front of me, grasped my wrist and turned my hand so it was palm side up laying on my knee. He placed the box on the floor, unzipped it pack and began to rummage amongst the medical supplies. _

"_Always be prepared. That's what I was taught". Charles found some tweezers and took them out of the bag placing them on my vacant knee. He reached back into the pack and pull out a plastic transparent tube, "this may sting but please don't move",_

_Charles twisted and pulled the end of the tube and squeezed the water like contents over the palm of my hand. It stung a little more but not much I just wanted to get this glass out of my hand, bandage it up and get the hell out of here. Once the saline solution was all gone, mostly poured all over the bathroom floor mixed with my blood something which would need wiping up before a cleaner comes in and gets a bit of a surprise. Charles discarded of the plastic tube, throwing it in the direction of the small pedal bin in the corner of the room but missing entirely, and turned back to face me. _

"_I'm going to do this gently ok? I'm going to try not to hurt you. Alright Dawes." _

_I couldn't muster a response but merely nodded my head to permit him to carry on with the procedure. I was the medic I should be the one tending to wounds, reassuring someone and making them feel better not the other way around. Yet here we are good old Charles looking out for me just like he did during our tour together, just like he did when I tried to adjust to life back at home, just like he did when I woke up screaming and sweating the other night. _

_He slowly pulled each shard of glass out of my hand slowly and carefully in true Charles James style and that's what I loved about him, he tends to everything with compassion and thought. That's why I loved falling under the sheets with this man he tends to me slowly and carefully making sure every inch of me is satisfied, I can honestly say I've never left the bed disappointed. _

_Reminiscing about the times that we had rolled around in a sweaty clinch I almost didn't realise Charles had finished tending to my hand. He looked up and put the tweezers on the side in the bathroom next to the sink, there's another side that would need wiping down before the cleaners come in. Charles turned back to me lifted my hand up by the wrist carefully and looked me in the eye. _

_"I don't think you will need stitches, what's your opinion Doc?" _

_I was too lost in his stare that I couldn't even look down at my hand, I just didn't want to. I wanted to keep looking in his eyes, for him to forget about what he found in that little paper bag and for him to whisk me off to bed. I doubt that was going to happen. So I decided to be adult and deal with things that didn't result in hot sex. _

_"I think that I'm up the duff and I don't know what to do. I haven't taken the test yet I was waitin' for ... Well I don't really know what I was waitin' for. I don't know what I'm gonna do if I am pregnant I mean I don't know much about nappies and bottles and that, only what I've seen from the girls in my area. Most of them girls don't have baby daddy's around to help them with everything and I don't want to deal with this alone. I'm not saying you would abandon me I'm just sayin' ... well I don't really know what I'm saying. Charles I ..." _

_"Listen here Dawes this is what is going to happen. I am going to wrap the bandage around your hand.." Charles leant down and grabbed the rolled up bandage. He took the cellophane off the bandage and started to unroll it, once he had enough undone he started to wrap my hand. "...and you are going to take that little white stick and find out whether all your worrying has been for nothing, is that ok?"_

_"Ok", I muttered as he finished unwrapping the bandage and rolled out the first section to place on my hand. He slowly unraveled the bandage winding it slowly around my hand, I won't lie my hand hurt like a bitch but Charles was being as gentle as he could._

_In no time at all my hand was bandaged, it wasn't exactly to the high standard of the medic in me but he certainly did do a good job. I suddenly felt the tears begin to burn my eyes so I closed them tight and tilted my head towards the floor, I didn't want him to see me so broken like this as this wasn't what he signed up for. _

_He was a divorced man in Afghanistan who had a second chance of living the life he wanted, free and single. What did he do? He fell for the common chav medic! Charles never spoke much about his divorce or why he separated from Rebecca just that things never worked out between them and they were better off apart. I won't lie it has often crossed my mind whether I was a rebound after his divorce. I don't think he would do that to me, would he?_

"_All done Dawes"._

"_Thank you Sir", I spoke quietly keep my eyes tightly shut and looking towards the ground. _

"_Dawes look at me", Charles said as I felt his breath hot against my cheek, "please look at me". I felt his forehead touch mine as he leant forward and brushed his lips against mine. "Please Molly look at me". _

_I slowly opened my eyes that were still tear rimmed and took a deep breath waiting for what he was going to say next. "Molly whatever happens I am going to be here for you, whether you aren't pregnant and want to run off to Africa or whether you are pregnant and want to stay at home having babies. I will be with you no matter what. Unless you break my heart and run off with Fingers!" _

_I let out a chuckle as Charles moved his lips against mine. Charles kissed me slowly, there was passion but no urgency. There was no need to rush what we had right now it was just about showing each other how much we loved one another and that's all I needed right now. We stayed clinched together for what seemed like hours but was only a few minutes. Charles pulled away first and started to slowly rise from his knees, groaning as he straightened out. _

"_You alright old man?" _

_Charles moved to stand in front of the sink and grabbed the little white stick, "enough of the old man darling! I will let you know I am in my prime!"_

_I let out a laugh as he walked back towards me, he kneeled down and went back to the position he was previously in. He placed one hand on my left knee and held the test with his other hand in front of me, "just take the test Molly"._

_I took the test from him as he continued to look at me, "well go and give a girl some privacy". Charles leant forward one last time and pecked me on the lips then rose from his position in front of the toilet and walked out the bathroom. I took the plastic lid off the test and peed on it. There was honestly no clean and sophisticated way to do this, it's nothing like the 'Clearblue' adverts at all. Once I was done I put the lid back on and placed it on the bathroom surface checking the time on my watch, we just had to wait three minutes. I sorted myself out then proceeded to wash my hands, once they were dry I check my watch. Just sixty seconds to go. _

_This is the longest minute I have ever experienced in my life, I mean my whole life is waiting to be changed with the help of a HCP indicator. Charles is on the other side of this wall waiting to hear some life changing news and I honestly didn't know how I was going to react. If I cried would he think I regretted anything to do with us or he would he be happy with the passion I had. Who knows! I looked down at my watch, shit its time! _

_I leant down and picked up the little plastic stick and went to leave the bathroom, with my hand on the door handle I let out a long deep breath. We needed to look at this result together._


	10. Chapter 9

**I am so overwhelmed with the kind reviews and messages! It gave me a big boost to work on this story! **

**A massive thank you for the reviews from: CJwaitout, Flossybag wash, Trtvm greenstuff2, vanlow, Lottie55, molly mack, scuzzer10, Christinecashman, Guest, and Tan queen. **

"_So what's the verdict?" Charles asked as I walked into the bedroom. Charles was sitting on the edge on the bed, his elbows resting on his knees and his hands held together, he was obviously in deep thought. He scooted over slightly to the left as I walked towards the bed and took a seat next to him. My grip on the test tightened even more and I hoped that if I squeezed it hard enough the test would just disintegrate and I could pretend this was all over. I could feel the blood rushing from my hands as my knuckles slowly turned white due to how tight I was holding onto the piece of plastic, Charles noticed too. He put his hand over mine, stroking my knuckles just like he did in my tent before I went back home from Afghan. _

_"It's ok Molls". _

_I took a deep breath out and unfastened my grip on the test allowing Boss Man to take it from my hand. He turned the stick over so we could both see the little window. There were two blue lines. _

_I felt like a tank was on my chest and I couldn't breathe, the whole room was spinning and my hearing had gone fuzzy just as though I was underwater. I lost all grip on the test and it fell to the floor, my heartbeat was getting louder and I was starting to lose control of my breathing. The slow breaths out weren't happening and all I was doing was breathing in, the in breaths were getting faster. I could hear a muffled voice and I vaguely felt something touching my shoulders. The voice was getting further away as if it was running into the distance. I tried to stand up from my position on the bed but my legs had obviously forgotten how to walk and I fell to floor. A shadowed figure leant over me before it all went black. _

_I opened my eyes and immediately had to squint due to the bright lights that were blinding me, was I dead?! I thought when I died I would be in the Afghan desert not in a hotel room in Bath, I mean what was I even doing in Bath? Girls like me don't do business in Bath or Barrth as Charles liked to call it. _

_"Molly?" A voice next to me called out. It was soft and quiet not the tone of voice I was used to hearing him use when we were on tour together. I turned my head to the side and there he was, my Boss Man. _

_"Hi", I croaked; immediately noticing how dry my throat was causing me to have a rough and deep voice not at all lady like. Charles turned slightly from his seated position next to me, he looked so stressed and tired as if he had been up for days worrying out his head. He grabbed the water jug on the bedside table with the little plastic cup besides it and poured a drink. _

_"Here drink this", he said as he leant down with the cup allowing me to sit up slightly and take a sip. "Just take small sips it will make your throat feel better". I took a few more small sips then leant backwards and lay back down. _

"_I hate hospitals. Ever since I was a kid", I mumbled as my eyes readjusted to the bright lights around me. Charles put the jug on the bedside table turned back to me and leant forward on the hospital bed. He placed his one hand in mine and put the other on my arm as a way of comfort, just like I did when I saw him lying there in the hospital after he was shot by Badrei. Charles had the same look on his face now as I had on mine; a look of fear, relief and hope. _

_Charles moved the hand from my arm and stretched across to cup the side of my face with the palm of his hand, he used his thumb to gently stroke my cheek. "The difference is I'm here now to take care of you. I'll be there for you"._

_I couldn't help but smile which caused Charles to raise an eyebrow at me, well that then set me off. I started laughing and couldn't help it, Charles moved his hand off my cheek and rubbed the stubble on his cheek. "What's so fucking hilarious about that?" He asked smiling. _

_Images of me and Smurf talking at the tea tent in Afghan came back to me as though it was yesterday, my god I missed that Welsh tosser. I carried on chuckling then started to feel tears pricking the corners of my eyes but these weren't tears from laughing. I choked on one of my laughs and before I knew it I was full blown crying. What the hell is wrong with me?!_

"_Oh God", I groaned as I withdrew my hand from Charles' and covered my face. "What the hell is wrong with me?!"_

"_It's called hormones, this sort of thing happens when you're ... Never mind"._

_I knew he was trying to be helpful; he was trying to comfort me and be there for me as much as he could. I really did appreciate it and I needed him so much but hearing them words just made me feel like my stomach had risen into my throat. I didn't know what the right thing to say to him was anymore. I didn't know if he was happy or sad, whether he wanted to pass out cigars or jump from the hospital roof. I wonder how he reacted when Rebecca told him he was going to be a dad for the first time, well they were married s they did have the stability. It probably helps that his parents loved Rebecca and she was a well spoken woman who was quite well off. She was a VIP gold membership package holiday; two weeks all inclusive, first class flights, five start hotel with a private beach. Whereas I was a last minute holiday to Blackpool that will just about scrape you a bed and breakfast. _

_Me and Charles were from two totally different worlds, we had gone down two opposite paths in life but found each other. If we chose to have this baby how would we cope? I wanted to go back on tour, possibly do some humanitarian work, but couldn't do that if I was pregnant. If I chose to go after the baby was born would I even be able to walk away for six weeks?_

"_I know it's not ideal", Charles said breaking me from my thoughts. I placed my hands from my face, wiped under my eyes and looked directly at him. "I know we didn't plan this and well we fucked up really didn't we. In Afghan I promised you that I had no intention of ever hurting you, that I just wanted to make you happy. That still stands. Seeing you collapse, well my heart felt like it was in my throat. I was so scared Molly... They didn't ... They wouldn't tell me what was going on they just rushed you off straight away. When the doctor came back through and said you would be ok, well I have never been so relieved!"_

_He moved his hands to grasp mine, his eyes kept going from my hands to my face as I waited to hear what he was thinking. "You're my everything Molly Dawes". _

"_Ditto", I said smiling down at him. _

"_A woman of many words aren't you Dawesy"._

"_I learnt from the best Sir", I replied. _

"_Right, now I've been reassured there is something I need to ask you ..."_

"_Well you've already proposed and knocked me up so what more is there to ask", I said chuckling nervously. _

"_Actually it's very important! Now you can say no if you want to but I'm really hoping you don't say no as I think you will really like the idea. If you were obscenely uncomfortable about it though just tell me and I can cancel the whole thing. It's just I thought it was the right time and you would enjoy it and ..."_

"_Hey!" I interrupted as I moved my hand to touch his cheek, "you are rambling. Just spit it out already"._

_Charles chuckled as he leant into my touch, "well Rebecca rang me and asked if I could have Sam this weekend. I told her I was visiting my parents, she said that was ok and that she thought it would be nice for Sam to spend some time with his grandparents. She even offered to drop him down in the morning, just after we arrive actually and..."_

"_You want me to meet Sam?"_

"_Yes. I want you to meet my son Molly, properly this time not just in a hospital room, you are both important parts of my life"._

_I would love to meet Sam properly and see his cheeky little face again. However I didn't want to come face to face with Rebecca. I wasn't sure how she would react if her ex husband brought along his new Cockney girlfriend. _

"_I would love to meet Sam", I answered looking at Charles. His eyes suddenly started sparkling as he grinned from ear to ear, he looked like a child on Christmas Eve all full of excitement and anticipation. _

_He moved closer to me and bent down, putting his head into the crook of my neck and wrapping his arms around me. _

"_Thank you so much Molly", he said as he placed soft kisses on my neck and shoulder. I wanted to just get lost in the moment but the resolution I had made with myself came to the forefront of my mind. _

"_What does Rebecca think about me meeting Sam?" Charles stopped his attack on my neck and whispered in my ear. _

"_It will be alright"._

_I moved slightly away from him as Charles removed his head from its resting place on my shoulder and I gave him a stern look. "What do you mean will be? You haven't told Rebecca that WE are visiting have you?" He continued to stare at me without saying a word. "Well have you told her you are bringing your girlfriend with you?" I said as an attempt to coax him into saying something._

_He bit the middle of his lip and squinted his eyes slightly, obviously worrying about the reply he was about to give to me. "I may have forgotten to mention that you would be there aswell but I'm sure she will be fine with it. She has met you after all"._

_I scoffed, "ha! She gave me the dirtiest look ever when I said 'ditto' to you she probably thought I was well dodge!"_

"_If I understand what you were saying I would know whether to agree or disagree with you" he said so I responded and pushed his shoulder. He fell backwards slightly and pretended he was in a lot of pain. "Ouch Dawesy that hurt"._

"_Oh man up you aren't in Barrrrth anymore", I said exaggerating the pronunciation. "How is your ex wife going to react when she sees the medic who followed you through Afghanistan, brought you home and apparently provides you with the relationship she never could. I'm pretty sure I would be mega pissed if my ex husband did that to me"._

"_Well we must make sure I never become your ex husband then"._

"_...Charles"._

"_We have to make sure we are together until the day one of us dies and then we won't hurt one another in that way". _

"_...Charles"._

"_We will never be like Rebecca and I"._

"_Charles! You're avoiding the point. Why haven't you told Rebecca that I am coming with you"._

_He looked down at the bed sheet covering my legs and pulled one hand through his hair. "I don't want to hurt anyone". _

_I grasped his free hand and stroked my thumb across his knuckles, "you could never hurt me boss". _

_He let out a breath, "but I did Molly! I didn't tell you initially about Rebecca or Sam, I kept a huge part of my life from you and I hurt you. I was meant to be protecting you in Afghan and I didn't. You got hurt from a mine, from Badrei's son and you lost your best friend. Smurf's mother was right. She has had her two sons taken from her and what did she get ... A fucking flag. I watched you throughout his funeral I saw how hurt you were and I saw how you blamed yourself. It wasn't you fault Molly, it was mine. I don't want to hurt you by facing you with Rebecca because to be honest she can be a bitch. She will try to ruin what we have and rip every strand of what we are apart. She doesn't want me to be happy even though we are divorcing; she wants me to be ripped away from you just like the Army ripped me away from her. I won't let that happen"._

_I could see his eyes glistening as a stray tear fell down his cheek. I wiped the tear away with my thumb and felt a lump in my throat. I had never seen this side of my boss man before he had never appeared so vulnerable to me. _

"_It will be fine. I promise you I'm not going anywhere, we are going to go to your parents together and I am not going to leave your side. At least with my army training I can defend myself if she lunges at me with her Gucci handbag!"_

_Charles laughed, "she's more of a Chanel person to be honest"._

"_The clutch I've brought with me was four quid from Primark! I'm going to look like a right scratta in front of your parents now ain't I!"_

_He shook his head, "I love you and I'm happy with you. My parents will love you just for that"._

"_Making you happy Sir"._

"_Yes Dawes. Are you happy?"._

"_Yes boss"._

"_Well then why don't we call your doctor through to give you a check and see if we can take you out of here. If it's rest and recuperation you need then I am at your every command Molly Dawes, I can make up for all those six am PT sessions"._

"_So what happens if I can leave?"_

"_Then we are going back to our hotel and I am going to order room service whilst you have a nice long bath. We are going to watch some really corny romance films in bed wrapped up in the fluffy white hotel robes and slippers. Then in the morning we shall have breakfast in bed, grab our things and head to my parents. We will get there earlier than Rebecca so you can settle with my mum and dad"._

"_Then face Rebecca and Sam", I muttered under my breath._

_Charles nodded, "yes, WE will face Rebecca together. With my mother by our side, she's a very conservative woman but if anyone pisses off her little Charlie ... well they will regret the day they did"._

"_Charlie?" I laughed._

"_What's so fucking funny about Charlie?"_

_I carried on laughing as tears streamed down my cheeks. Looks like me and Charlie have a busy day tomorrow._

**So the next chapter will be very busy! I am trying to upload every week but it may be every other week to be honest, sorry guys! I work, go to uni and have a one year old so I'm mega busy. Most of my chapters are written on the bus then typed up and edited in the middle of the night!**

**Anyway please review, share, favourite, follow! Thanks! H xx**


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